More Pet Peeves

Surely you knew that I would have more than four pet peeves . . . :)

Pet Peeve #5: People who fart in sauna. C'mon, that's just foul. And don't think that it's even remotely funny, when you're in there alone, to Fumigate & Flee. 'Cuz chances are some unsuspecting person is going to come in, exhausted from her run and panting heavily. She'll eagerly fling herself into the blazing hot sauna . . . and immediately pass out unconscious on the floor due to the stifling odor permeating every fiber of that small space. And THEN, probably, some unwitting gym stranger will follow her into the Den of Abominable Stench, see me the poor soul lying there, and assume that SHE was the source of the reeking smog. I'm pretty sure that I once heard of a man in Finland being publicly flogged for farting in sauna. A most reasonable consequence, in my opinion.

Pet Peeve #6: Cracked eggs hidden in the carton. I was raised properly - I always open the carton at the grocery store and do a quick Crack Check before buying my eggs. But every once in a while, I'll get an egg that was secretly cracked on the bottom. And then it hardens and glues itself to the bottom of the carton. And I'll reach in to pull it out and it will crush in my hand and squirt raw egg all over everything. Ugh.

Pet Peeve #7: Mean people. Well, not just any mean people, 'cuz who really likes them? (Except other mean people. Have you ever noticed that mean people seem to get along alright with each other? Like gang members. Or Deatheaters. Or Thomas and O'Brien on Downton Abbey.) No, my pet peeve is with people who are underhandedly mean. I'm talking about people who pretend to be cracking jokes, but who are actually just being snarky to your face. My pet peeve is with people who adulterate the fine art of Humorous Sarcasm and instead talk to people with hurtful, uncaring words disguised as humor. Grrr.

Pet Peeve #8: Closet doors left open. And cupboards, drawers, or cereal boxes. For the love of Pete, can't people just CLOSE things that were meant to be closed? And don't even get me started on blinds left open at night, with the lights on, and the closet doors open . . . Have mercy.