It's a cold, cruel world out there

These are from the Bainbridge Island police blotter for last week. It will give you an idea of the level of crime and danger that we are subjected to on our little island.

An erratic driver on Highway 305 was found by police not to be impaired by alcohol, but by chicken. The man’s Jeep was observed by an officer just before 7:30 p.m. to cross the center line four times and the fog line once before turning onto High School Road without signaling. The officer pulled the man over, noting that he did not appear intoxicated but had grease covering his fingers and his vehicle’s stick shift. The man explained that he had been attempting to drive while eating chicken. The officer cited him for the traffic infractions and for driving with suspended license.

A raccoon carcass was found in a plastic bag in Safeway’s High School Road parking lot just before 10 a.m.

A Henderson Road resident reported that a cashmere sweater in a UPS delivery parcel was stolen from a mail box. The sweater is valued at $130.

A bicyclist was injured on Eagle Harbor Drive at approximately 8:30 a.m. after he braked suddenly to avoid hitting a deer. The bicyclist injured his clavicle and was transported to a hospital.