Nathan & I spent the day Christmas shopping in Seattle. The girls went to a friend's house to play, but we decided to let the boys stay home. I gave them an extensive "To Do" list (apparently not extensive enough, as you shall soon see). And they had strict instructions: DO NOT answer the phone unless it's me, DO NOT answer the door unless you know the person very well, DO NOT cook, DO NOT watch TV, DO NOT fight, DO NOT pass Go and DO NOT collect $100.
Everything seemed to be going well. By the time we were on the ferry, they had already called 3 times with various urgent issues - "Do I HAVE to practice my piano?" "If we can't cook, what are we supposed to have for lunch?" "Do I HAVE to practice the piano?" They continued to check in like clockwork every 30 minutes. I soon became used to feeling my butt vibrating at 15 and 45 past each hour. (I can't ever hear my cell phone ringer, so it's always on vibrate.)
When I answered my 3:15pm call, it was Micah calling.
MICAH: Mom, a strange man just taped a note to the front door.
ME: Did you open the door?!?!
MICAH: No.
Everything seemed to be going well. By the time we were on the ferry, they had already called 3 times with various urgent issues - "Do I HAVE to practice my piano?" "If we can't cook, what are we supposed to have for lunch?" "Do I HAVE to practice the piano?" They continued to check in like clockwork every 30 minutes. I soon became used to feeling my butt vibrating at 15 and 45 past each hour. (I can't ever hear my cell phone ringer, so it's always on vibrate.)
When I answered my 3:15pm call, it was Micah calling.
MICAH: Mom, a strange man just taped a note to the front door.
ME: Did you open the door?!?!
MICAH: No.
ME: What did he look like?
MICAH: He was wearing a blue uniform and camoflage pants. Do you want me to get the note?
ME: Is the strange man gone?
MICAH: Yes.
ME: OK, get the note.
MICAH: Here's what it says: Hello Brooke. Yes, we know your name. Now we want to see you Christmas Eve at 4680 Wallaby Drive at 9:00 sharp in Silverdale. We need to have a secret meeting about the stuff you bought for Christmas. Whenever someone buys something we get an email. We got an email that the stuff you bought used fake money. If you do not show up, the FBI will hunt you down and you will have a life sentence in jail. So I bet you don't want to miss it. (Signed) Daniel Regice, FBI agent.
MICAH: Yes.
ME: OK, get the note.
MICAH: Here's what it says: Hello Brooke. Yes, we know your name. Now we want to see you Christmas Eve at 4680 Wallaby Drive at 9:00 sharp in Silverdale. We need to have a secret meeting about the stuff you bought for Christmas. Whenever someone buys something we get an email. We got an email that the stuff you bought used fake money. If you do not show up, the FBI will hunt you down and you will have a life sentence in jail. So I bet you don't want to miss it. (Signed) Daniel Regice, FBI agent.
Now, put yourself in my shoes. I've left my boys home alone for the first time, I'm at least an hour away, and it is sounding like some crazy man in a uniform is stalking our house. I'm starting to freak out. Do I call the cops? Do I call a friend and have her go get the boys? I'm trying to sound calm and nonchalant so that I won't scare Micah, but inside my mind is racing through all the horrid possibilities.
MICAH: Mom? (giggle) It was me.
ME: Huh? Are you sure the doors are locked?
MICAH: (giggle giggle) It was me. I wrote the note.
ME: (long pause, reality striking) Micah, you are so grounded. Go write me an extra report.
MICAH: (no longer giggling) Yes, ma'am.
Crises over. Heartbeat regulating. Revenge being plotted. We have a good friend who is a policeman. I'm thinking Micah might need a real surprise visit of his own one of these days . . .
2 comments:
I still can't get past the part where you can leave them without having someone burn down the house! I left the boys home *once*, for twenty minutes, while I took the cat to the vet to get fixed. Ian was vomiting everywhere, so obviously he could not get in the car, and I needed to leave Aidan home to keep an eye on Ian. I called to check on them, and they had forgotten I was not home....
O.K. Micah is hilarious. I am so excited to know more of the ongoings of the Washington Russells!!! Do they really write reports for you? B/c that is awesome!
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